More dan da 'nemonia

Welp, still in the hospital. Pneumonia is pretty much done buy these kidneys adopted a rare disease that will require a lil help to get back to normal. It would be my ass to get some science experiment 15 syllable shit, on top of the rare shit I already got Ain't I special! I cant get regular shit people done heard of...lol. But it is treatable and not as sever as it could be so insert tambourine praise break here.

I just completed my first chemo-ish like therapy immune thingy <that's the easiest way to explain it> and it went well. More treatments will be in order and some steroids. There go the 25 pounds I just lost. Insert angry face here cause I know I done got half laying in this bed.

Interesting thing, this is one of the few times where peace entered the situation before I did. Even when I got to the ER and potential blood clots on lungs and astronomical blood results were coming back, I wasn't as frantic as I usually would be. I had to go old school...Insert all sickness is not into death, John 11:4.

When the doctor came back and pulled up a chair, a wave of fear washed over me but for a moment and thanks to to many episodes of Greys anatomy, that chair meant business to me! Before he really got into the possibilities I asked as casually and calmly as I could "Is I'm finna die?", with a straight ass face and didn't flinch. That felt really bold for me.

But even after he mentioned that my situation was complicated, I really wasnt that worried. I ain't gone front like I had no concern, but I truly felt like I had been prepared for this moment. Not being in the hospital per se, but I knew I was still being hard headed and that God would intervene more cause he know my heart. I'm a hustler. He gave me a warning shot and it hit me in the leg. I kept limping.

So this time, He jumped me. And even though I know that this season has greater purpose, I hope I take away the most important thing. Application. They say if you know better you do better. I call bull shit. We be knowing, the application of such provides the greatest struggle.

It had already been spoken to me, small reveals of what MY JOURNEY was supposed to be and I still tried to move in a manner that wasnt designed for me. I dont like feeling like I'm not working hard enough. But I has to remember who dafaq I am and that what's meant for me wont miss me. Insert chest sticking out pat on the back here.

I know there is more for me to go through and grow through with this. And it dont matter what you doing or ain't doing right or wrong, life has to happen. My role is this universe has already been designed. Whether it was pneumonia or getting hit by a bus that lead me to the ER. I was supposes to be admitted at 3 am on Oct. 25th. I have to believe that.

However this thing plays out I pray for progress, peace, the right attitude, perspective and that I dont have to curse nobody out on this journey with they bull shit. Oh you know that G shit dont die. Selah.

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